Becoming a Momma
I remember being so excited to meet my little girl, thinking I was so ready and that I had prepared all that I could and birth was the only thing standing between me and my daughter. I had the birth all planned out too of course. After her head came out (i would say this is graphic, but half of you reading this have probably done this yourself so..no apologies here!) I would reach down and pull her out the rest of the way, it would be perfect and so special, I mean me pulling my own child out of my own body, it would be a very “I am woman, hear me roar!” moment. But there I sat, in the OB’s office at 38 weeks listening to the doctor tell me my baby girl was breech and I would have to have a c-section. This was the very moment I learned that as a mom, no matter how much planning you do, no matter what expectations we have…you might as well throw them out the door sister, because babies do what they want, when they want.
My husband and I went into the hospital at 5am that morning, so eager and excited to meet our girl, I did my makeup to make sure I had a perfect contour in all of my first pictures with her. We cuddled up on the hospital bed and watched the episode of The Office where Pam gives birth to pass the time before going into surgery. Then I walked back, without my husband, to get spinal anesthesia, where (all you mommas know) the nurses were freaking SAINTS, I hugged the neck of a stranger while they stuck a needle in my spine, but she was a momma too and knew exactly what to say to me to keep me calm and zen as possible. Finally, my husband was allowed back and the room quickly became eerily similar to a nascar pit crew changing a tire, busy, fast and precise. Then after 9 minutes of doctors cutting through my abdomen and yanking a tiny princess out (graphic I know), I got to see my perfect little angel and every plan I had for her went out the door. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew I was her momma and that no matter what she did in life, no matter who she turned out to be, that I would always be her biggest fan and even though she wouldn’t think so sometimes, her most ride or die best friend.
The next few weeks after birth were some of the toughest of my life, c-section recovery is HARD, especially for someone who can’t sit down and wants to go go go. Not to mention THE HORMONES! I mean if you asked me how I was doing, I would start sobbing, even though I was literally the happiest I had ever been in my whole life. I was so tired (she didn’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time until she was 4 months old y’all), my boobs were KILLING ME (breastfeeding is a second job am I right??), so worried I wouldn’t know what to do to keep her alive and so annoyed and intimidated by every picture and blog and post online where every mom seemed to have it all figured out.
During my 3 months of maternity leave I soaked up every moment with her. We went on little outings together where we matched our outfits, we read so many books, sang so many songs and cuddled non stop even though we never really mastered napping. But let me say something that a lot of people will probably judge me for…I was ready to go back to work. I LOVED my time at home with my baby girl, I mean I look back at those moments and feel so warm and fuzzy and grateful for those moments as those are the moments I play over and over in my head when we are having a tough day, when she throws a tantrum in the middle of an aisle, and when I stand over her as she sleeps just so I can watch her little chest move up and down. Those 3 months were incredible and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but when people asked if I was sad to go back to work…I wasn’t at all. I was so ready! I was CRAVING my old routine. I NEEDED that me time to be able to get ready and go talk to other adults. I DESERVED that feeling of pride and joy when I made a sale or reached a goal. And I wasn’t and still am not sorry one bit for feeling that way! But finding my tribe of mommas was tough since all the moms I met were stay at home moms, they didn’t understand why I wanted to go back to work because that just wasn’t their journey and THAT’S OK! Sometimes I wish I could be that mom that stayed home and had the most creative activities for their kids to do and planned play dates and did all the things..but that just isn’t me. MORE POWER TO YOU if you are that momma, I see you sister and you’re freaking killing it! But for me, I wanted to meet a tribe of women who got ME! But no one could truly GET me until I fully stepped into me..that wasn’t possible until I started SurSHE.
When I started SurSHE, I started something that set me on fire, that gave me something to be proud of (other than my hot hubby and our little angel of course), and something that I knew my daughter would be proud of. When I was brainstorming all of the different boxes I wanted to create, the first one I KNEW I had to do was a box specifically for mommas. A box that was full of products that allowed them some pampering and me-time. A box full of goodies all made by other women and mommas who had felt every thing they are feeling, that have faced all of the same struggles, who felt the same mom guilt and who just get it. I wanted every momma out there to feel the love and support from all the mommas inside that box, so the Momma Box was born!
The Momma Box is an exciting little surprise you get to look forward to every season with products, gift cards for services and goodies meant to spoil each momma who opens them, because literally NO ONE deserves to be spoiled more than a momma. Each and every brand in your Momma Box is always safe for everyone in your family, from parents to big kids to fresh little babies, every single product in each box is NEVER tested on animals and is ALWAYS free of harmful chemicals and ingredients. No researching each product to make sure they are safe, no having to go to a pop up shop or farmers market to shop local, no extra errands to run to support the women around you and no extra time spent finding the perfect way to give back to charity. One SurSHE box does all of that for you, because we know better than anyone, you’re busy momma, so let us check some stuff off your to-do list and pamper you for minute while we are at it. You deserve it.
P.S. If you haven’t heard it enough lately, you’re crushing this whole mom thing. YOU.GO.GIRL.